Two Homes - information, resources and tools for separated parents and their families.

Here are some suggestions to help you reduce your stress and improve your outlook:

1. Get Your Diet Right

Eating a balanced diet that is low in unrefined sugars, fat and processed foods can greatly help reduce feelings of anxiety and depression.
Drink a minimum of 2 litres of water a day.
Drink alcohol in moderation note: the latest guidelines on safe drinking levels recommend that people should have no more than two drinks a day.

2. Stay In Regular Contact With Friends And Family

Talking to your friends when you're feeling low can make a huge difference. When things are tough reach out for that shoulder to cry on or that friendly ear. Remember you don't have to do this on your own!
Spend quality time with people who you have fun with. Keep your positive friends close and maybe distant yourself from those that can be emotionally draining and negative.
Spend quality time with your children; their free spirits and light-heartedness will help you to see things differently.

3. Do Things You Enjoy

Make sure you take time out to maintain your hobbies and interests.
Look for new activities that make you feel good about yourself. Enroll in that class that you have always wanted to do or start painting, sailing, writing - whatever you have been thinking about for the past few years but never got round to doing!
Commit to a minimum of one non-essential pleasure every single day, without exception! Walk, swim, dance, laugh, sing - whatever helps you to relax and smile.

4. Get Moving

Regular exercise is scientifically proven to help if you're feeling depressed, stressed or anxious. To start commit to just 30 minutes of moderate intensity physical activity for 3 times a week.
Exercise doesn't have to boring, think of it as a fun way to get out and meet people. Find something you enjoy like dancing, cycling, walking , swimming. Join a group or get creative and get your friends together and go for a walk then reward yourself with a nice lunch.
Incorporate activity into your daily routine - use the stairs instead of the lift, walk to the shops versus driving.

5. Get Into A Good Sleep Routine

A good nights sleep enables your mind and body to rest and renew it's energy store for the day ahead.
If you're having difficulty sleeping, avoid having caffeine in the evening, adopt a relaxing bedtime routine, try not to worry about issues of the day once you get into bed.

6. Allow Your Self To Feel Your Emotions

Give yourself permission to feel your emotions when they happen. Unfortunately feelings are what make us human and we don't have a choice about when they arise; but we do have the choice of how we deal with them.
Don't mask or ignore your feelings. Acknowledge them and always remember that they will pass.
When you're overwhelmed with emotion, take 10 deep breaths. This will give you the opportunity to process your feelings and minimise any knee jerk reactions.
Don't think you have to be strong and hold in your tears - it's healthy to physically release your sadness, frustration and fears. Most people feel much better after they have a good cry!

7. A Trouble Shared Is A Trouble Halved

Remember you're not alone.
When you're feeling stressed, anxious or low, call or visit a friend and share how you're feeling with them. Sharing your feelings with another person can often provide you with a new perspective to your situation.
Don't be scared or think it's a sign of weakness to seek professional help if you think you need it.

8. Prioritise 'Me' Time

Make time to do something you enjoy everyday - it can be as simple as reading the newspaper, taking a bath, listening to your favourite song, watching your favourite tv show.
Analyse your commitments and workout what's important, needs to be done now, what can wait till later and what can be delegated to someone else.
Don't feel guilty about taking time out.
Find a way to calm your mind. There are lots of great resources that can teach you to how to meditate, relax and give yourself a break from constant mind chatter.

9. Keep Your Thoughts Positive

Positive thoughts create a positive reality. When negative thoughts arise, challenge them and replace them a more positive perspective.
Try and remember that your negative feelings will pass and it is just one moment in time. Occupy your brain with other things so you don't get caught up in the mind chatter.
Remind yourself daily that you're a good person with great qualities and attributes.
Write a list of things that you're good at and your good qualities. Read them to yourself daily.
Find positive affirmations that work for you and make them part of your daily routine.

10. Don't Be Too Hard On Yourself

Recognise that you're doing the best you can at this moment in time. Don't compare yourself to others and recognise that everyone's journey is different.
Be realistic, if necessary set new, more realistic goals for yourself.
Learn to pace yourself and accept that you can't do everything! Learn to set boundaries and to say No when required. Prioritise items based on what you want to do versus what you think you should do.
Never say to yourself (out load or in your head) anything you wouldn't say to your best friend.

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Stress Busters