1. Keep guilt out of negotiations
You may feel guilty and worried about the future of your family but you should not give in or make decisions because you feel guilty and hope that it will make the situation go away. Unfortunately, it's not likely to make things any better, your former partner any happier and you're likely to look back in a few months time and think 'why did I do that'!
2. Don't try and punish or threaten the other person
Divorce is messy enough as it is, try and be reasonable and work within the guidelines of the law. If you're determined to push the limits you will probably end up with a large legal bill, lots of heartache, emotional stress and at the end of the day an agreement that you would have got 6 months earlier if you had managed to separate your emotions from negotiations.
3. Don't buckle in the hope of reconciliation
You may think that there's a chance that you will get back together with your ex. However, Don't be overly giving or succumb to their requests in the hope that this will make them want to reconcile. Make sure you stand strong and get a fair settlement that will protect you're family's financial position now and in the future.
4. Think about the big picture
Try and keep arguments out of your negotiations they will just cost you time and money and not help you to get any closer to a happy ending. Think about the big picture, what do you really want to achieve? A happy stable future for you and your children or a lengthy, emotional, and expensive divorce process?
5. Manage the emotional roller coaster
It is useful to be aware that you are likely to at a different stage of the emotional journey than your former partner. The person who made the decision to leave is often further along the path than the other person as they have longer to come to terms with the separation. Being mindful of your former partner's feelings and emotional state could help you reach agreements quicker and more efficiently than trying to force discussions that the other person is just not ready to have.
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