Coping with the changes that occur before, during and post separation and divorce can take a toll on your body. As a result it's not unusual for people to experience a range of physical and mental health issues. Therefore during this period of adjustment it's important to take extra care of yourself to nourish your mind, body & soul.
I Feel Like Things Are Out Of Control At Home And Work, What can I do?
Separation and divorce can create havoc on our daily routines and schedules. One way to help you feel like you have more control over things is to get organised. Simple things like prioritising activities and planning your day can make a huge difference.
Click here to read Two Homes 20 tips to get organised.
I'm Really Stressed Out And Finding It Difficult To Stay Positive, What Should I Do?
Many people find that they experience feelings of stress, anxiety and even depression during and/or post separation and divorce. This is nothing to be embarrassed about, you simply need to learn new ways to do things, create better coping mechanisms so that you can improve the way you think and feel.
The simplest thing you can do is take good care of yourself - eat healthy nourishing food, exercise regularly, get a good nights sleep and do at least one thing a day that gives you pleasure.
Click here to read Two Homes 10 tips to help you reduce stress.
Do Relaxation Exercises Really Work?
Relaxation exercises have been proven to help reduce tension, provide a sense of calm, relieve headaches, insomnia, increase energy and focus, heighten problem-solving abilities and improve motivation and concentration.
On the simplest level, techniques such as deep breathing, visualisation, muscle relaxation, meditation, yoga and tai chi help you to relax your body and calm your mind. They can help you feel like you have greater control over your life, give you a sense of calmness and improve your coping mechanism.
What's The Best Relaxation Technique For Stress Relief?
There is no single best relaxation technique. The key is to find one that you enjoy doing, fits with your lifestyle and you're able to commit to doing daily.
Learning the basics of most relaxation techniques isn't hard. But in order to be effective you need to commit to daily practice. Experts suggest at least 10 -20 minutes a day.
Here's A Brief Summary Of A Selection Of Relaxation Techniques For Stress Relief:
Deep Breathing
Deep breathing for stress relief is a great place to start if this is your first attempt at relaxation exercises. Deep breathing involves not only the lungs but also the abdomen, or diaphragm. It is used in many relaxation practices including yoga, meditation, and visualization. Breathing from your abdomen helps you to relax as it helps your brain create longer, slower brain waves. These longer and slower brain waves are similar to the ones your brain makes when you are relaxed and calm.
Click Here To Read Two Homes Deep Breathing For Stress Relief Exercise
Meditation
Meditation focuses the mind's energy on a word, a sound, a symbol, a comforting image, or your own breathing. The goal is to create a deep state of relaxation while simultaneously enhancing your mental focus. You can meditate on your own, in a group or with the help of a CD.
There are a variety of different meditation techniques, two popular techniques that are very effective at reducing stress, anxiety and depression are:
Mindfulness meditation
Mindfulness meditation focuses on what's happening right now, in the present moment without worrying or thinking about the past or the future. With practice, mindfulness meditation teaches you to become aware of your emotions without reacting to them or letting negativity take over.
Guided imagery meditation
Guided imagery meditation involves imagining a scene in which you feel at peace, happy and content. You fully immerse yourself in your scene and concentrate on what you can see, here, smell and feel.
Click Here To Read Two Homes Mindfulness Meditation Techniques.
Muscle Relaxation
Muscle relaxation is the process of systematically focusing your attention on different parts of your body and tensing and relaxing them. When your body relaxes so will your mind. This exercise is also great at helping to identify when you're getting stressed.
Click Here To Read Two Homes Muscle Relaxation Suggestions
Tai Chi
Tai chi is a martial art that is practiced as a way of calming the mind, conditioning the body, and reducing stress. In Tai Chi your focus is on your breathing and keeping your attention in the present moment. It involves a series of slow, flowing body movements that you do at your own pace. Once you've learned the moves, you can practice it anywhere, any time, by yourself or with others.
Yoga
There are many forms of yoga, but most Westerners practice hatha yoga. The aim of Hatha yoga is to balance mind and body via physical exercises or "asanas", controlled breathing, and the calming of the mind through relaxation and meditation.
Asanas teach poise, balance and strength and are practiced to improve the body's physical health and clear the mind. Yoga trains you to build up a natural response to stress and bring this relaxed state into your daily life.
How Do I Start Relaxation Practice?
The simplest way to begin relaxation exercises is to schedule a time to include it into your daily routine. Think of it like brushing your teeth; something that you would not dream of missing!
Many people find it useful to do it first thing in the morning before the madness of the day sets in.
All you need to start a relaxation practice are:
- A quiet space
Choose a space (inside or out) where you feel comfortable and you can relax without distractions or interruptions.
- A comfortable position
Sit up with your spine straight, either in a chair or on the floor. Avoid lying down as you may fall asleep.
- A point of focus
Pick a meaningful word or phrase and repeat it throughout your session. Feel free to close your eyes or keep them open, whatever feels best. Some people find it helpful to focus on an object.
- A go with the flow attitude
At first you may find it difficult to remain focused, you way find your mind wandering and easily distracted. Don't worry about it, just let them go and bring your attention back to your focus point.
Are There Less Formal Relaxation Exercises That I Can Try?
Traditional relaxation techniques aren't the only effective stress reducers. Simple activities such as spending time in nature, talking to a friend, listening to music, reading, writing in a journal are all effective stress relief exercises. The important thing is to find something you enjoy and commit to doing it at least once a day.
Why Does Exercise Help Reduce Stress?
People who get into a routine of regular exercise often say that exercise makes them feel good and helps them manage stress more effectively.
The reason for the feel-good effect of exercise is that physical activity releases endorphins, the brain chemicals that influence mood and act as the body's natural painkillers. Exercise has also been shown to improve immunity, making you less likely to get sick.
Exercise helps relieves stress as it:
- Allows the body to release muscle tension and pent-up frustration
- Releases endorphins; the 'feel-good' brain chemicals
- Decreases the output of stress hormones
- Helps you sleep better
Click Here To Read Two Homes Tips To Help You Start An Exercise Program You Will Enjoy
What Other Alternative Therapies Are Effective For Stress Relief?
There are a wide range of alternative therapies that are proven to assist in the reduction of stress and anxiety. Below is a list of a selection of therapies that are widely available throughout Australia and have been experienced first hand by members of the Two Homes team!
Massage Therapy
A massage provides deep relaxation, and as the muscles in your body relax, so does your over stressed mind. You Don't have to see a massage therapist to enjoy the benefits of massage. There are many simple self-massage techniques you can use to relax and release stress.
Click Here To Read Our Suggestions For Self Massage Exercises
Aromatherapy
Aromatherapy for stress relief is a holistic therapy that involves the use of natural essential oils in promoting a feeling of physical and emotional well-being. There are many ways you can use essential oils including inhalation, massage, soaking and vaporisers.
Essential oils are widely recognised for their natural stress reduction effects, and can help with:
- Concentration and focus
- Improve productivity
- Relaxation and rejuvenation
- Mood enhancement
Click Here To Read Two Homes List Of Effective Essential Oil For Stress Relief
Flowers Essences
Flower essences are increasingly being used on their own and in conjunction with many hands on therapies to help bring about emotional balance. They act as catalysts to change negative beliefs and thought processes, and bring about positive change that helps you achieve clarity, inner strength and restores your natural balance.
The two most common flower essences used in Australia are Australian Bush Flowers and Bach Flower Remedies.
The remedies use flower secretions and scents to achieve a more relaxed emotional state and eliminate stress and anxiety. There are a large number of different flower essences, all focusing on specific emotional states. Flower remedies are traditionally sold as tinctures, and can be used one at a time or in combination with other essences.
Bowen Therapy
Bowen is a remedial body technique that utilises gentle moves over specific points on your body to relieve pain and discomfort, and facilitate the flow of energy.
A Bowen treatment consists of sequences of small moves, each at a specific site on the body. There is a space of 2-5 minutes between each sequence. This time allows your muscles to make the changes necessary in your body.
My Friends Say They Are Worried About Me Burning Out, What Are They Talking About?
When people go through a difficult period of time they can sometimes experience physical, emotional and mental difficulties. Exhaustion and growing pressure can sometimes lead to the point where your body physically shuts down in order to get some relief.
Burnout warning signs include, but are not limited to:
- Chronic fatigue - exhaustion, tiredness, a sense of being physically run down
- Frequent boats of anger
- Self-criticism
- Cynicism, negativity, and irritability
- Exploding easily at seemingly inconsequential things
- Frequent headaches and stomach problems
- Weight loss or gain
- Sleeplessness and depression
- Shortness of breath
- Feelings of helplessness
- Increased degree of risk taking
Burnout can be prevented. The first step is to recognise the signs and symptoms and take steps to prevent it. Review our checklist of burnout symptoms in our quick tips section. If you can identify with a multiple number of these you should make lifestyle changes that can help to reduce some of the stress and tension in your life.
Click Here To Read Two Homes Burnout Checklist
What's The Difference Between Stress And Burnout?
In general stress is related to feeling like you have too many pressures and demands on you physically and emotionally. People who are stressed believe that if they can get things under control then they will feel better.
In comparison, people who are experiencing burnout often feel empty, completely unmotivated and can't recognise that things can get better. Burnout may be the result of ongoing stress, but it isn't the same.
How Can I Prevent And Deal With Burnout?
it's really important to recognise the early stages of burnout and take steps to avoid a complete physical shutdown. Burnout usually has its roots in stress, so the earlier you recognise the symptoms of stress and address them, the better chance you have of avoiding burnout.
Because burnout is closely related to stress many of the techniques that are useful for relieving stress can also help prevent burnout. One of the simplest and most important things you can do to combat burnout is to make sure you stay physically well; that is get regular exercise, eat well and get quality sleep. The other is to acknowledge your own needs, what do you want to do - not what should you do! Once you have worked out what's important to you find ways to satisfy these needs and desires.
Click Here to Read Two Homes Stress Relief Tips
I've Heard That Divorce And Separation Can Trigger Depression, Is This True?
The end of a significant relationship can trigger a depressive episode. Separation and divorce is a major event in a person's life and is associated with lots of intense feelings of sadness and grief. Normally these only last for a short period of time and can be worked through with the help of a good support network.
However, sometimes the sadness and feelings of hopelessness are overwhelming and seriously affects a person's daily life. If the intensity of these feelings Don't dissipate over time and you find it hard to function every day, or find the joy in activities you once enjoyed, then you may be suffering from depression.
The good news is that depression is easily treated and managed, so if you think you may suffer from depression talk to your doctor ASAP.
What Is Depression?
Depression is an extremely common condition that affects approximately 1 in 5 Australians. it's more than just feeling low or sad - it's a serious illness.
it's normal to have periods in our lives where we feel sad, moody, unmotivated and lack self-confidence. However, a person can feel all of these emotions without suffering from clinical depression. The difference lies in the length and severity of the feeling. People who suffer from depression experience these intense feelings for long periods of time and it interferes with their ability to function normally. It is not something that they can just 'snap out' of.
The World Health Organisation defines clinical depression as:
- Two weeks of an abnormal depressed mood
- Loss of interest or pleasure in activities that used to be enjoyable
- Reduced energy, or feeling tired
- Loss of confidence and self-esteem
- Feeling guilty and unworthy
- Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide, or any suicidal/self-harming behaviour
- Reduced ability to think or concentrate
- Agitated or slow movements
- Disturbed sleep (not enough/too much/poor quality)
- Change in appetite (increase or decrease) with weight change
- Decreased libido
- Unexplained physical symptoms
If you can identify with these symptoms and have been experiencing them for more than 2 weeks please visit your doctor.
It may help to remember:
- Depression is not something to be ashamed of
- Seeking help for depression isn't a sign of weakness
- Depression is not a character flaw
- Depression is easily treated
- Depression is not permanent
- With help things will get better
How Do I Know If I'm Just Grieving The End of My Relationship Or I'm Depressed?
Depression is different from grief. it's normal to feel intense sadness and grief after a major life change like divorce. Although the grief associated with loss is often intense and long lasting, such emotions are healthy and functional. They are a natural part of the healing process and help you to move forward with your life.
In contrast depression is not healthy, it's often debilitating and can make you feel like there is no hope or way forward. You may also feel empty, numb; like you're just going through the motions. People with depression can find it difficult to do normal day-to-day activities (like getting out of bed in the morning) and find no enjoyment in life or their usual hobbies. If you can identify with some of the symptoms of depression please talk to your doctor.
Click Here To Read Two Homes Tips For A Healthy Mind
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