My Relationship (De Facto Or Marriage) Has Broken Down What Now?
If your relationship has broken down many couples find it useful to try counselling. Counselling services are offered by a variety of organisations such as
Relationships Australia,
Unifam,
Centacare,
Interrelate and the
Family Relationships Centre or you may choose to see a private marriage counsellor. Counselling can be beneficial at any stage in your relationship and all discussions are confidential.
If counselling doesn't work, then separation is normally the next step. In fact if you're married and want a divorce then you need to show that your marriage is 'irretrievably broken down' and that you and your spouse have lived separately for at least 12 months.
Click here to find a counsellor near you.
What Is Separation?
In most cases separation occurs when you and your partner stop living together and you're no longer in a domestic relationship. Both parties do not have to agree to the separation.
In order for you to be able to get a divorce you must show that your marriage has irretrievably broken down and that you and your spouse have lived separately for at least 12 months.
Separated - But Still Living Together
In some situations it may not be viable for you to live in different houses e.g. because of financial constraints. This is called 'Separation Under One Roof'. Separation under one roof occurs when a husband and wife separate but continue to live in the same home. It may be for a few days, weeks, months or years following separation.
If you and your spouse lived in the same home during part or all of the required 12 months separation period, you may need to provide extra information to the court to support that separation did actually occur. You will need to provide the court with an affidavit from an independent person e.g. friend or neighbour and/or depending on your situation a statutory declaration from yourself, your spouse or both of you.
What do I need to prove that we have been separated?
In your affidavit, you need to prove that there has been a change in the marriage and you and your spouse have separated.
You will need to provide evidence of:
- A change in sleeping arrangements
- Reduction in shared activities or family outings
- Decline in performing household duties for each other
- Division of finances e.g. separate bank accounts
- Each of you goes about their daily routine without the inclusion of the other e.g. does their own shopping, socialises with their own friends
The Family Court also recommends that your affidavit should also explain:
- Why you continued to live in the same home following separation and what intention, if any, you have of changing the situation.
- Living arrangements you made for any child of the marriage under 18 years during the time you were living under one roof.
- What government departments you have advised of your separation if you receive a government benefit; for example, Centrelink or the Child Support Agency.
Do I have to do anything to be 'legally separated'?
No, it's more about how to show you are separated, if you need to. One person may move out of the home, or you can both stay but live separate lives (as discussed above).
You do not need to complete any forms to become separated, but you may have to inform some organisation's such as Centrelink, if you get Centrelink benefits or are entitled to them.
What if we got back together for a short time?
You can get back together for up to 3 months without re-starting the 12 month separation period. For example, if you decide to reconcile with your partner after being separated for 6 months and this lasts for only 2 months, you Don't need to re-start the 12-month period. Therefore, in the eyes of the court you have been separated for 8 months.
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